2018-12-15 - A Bunch Of Ratmen Ruin Wintermas

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Session Overview

15th December 2018
Players present

The Plot

It's Wintermas at Purity!

The city of Sigil is ready for Wintermas, the one holiday everyone can agree on. Day one involves a massive rager full of alcohol and debauchery. Day two involves cleaning up after said rager and preparing for day three's feast and gift exchange. At said rager, William led the revelries, got super drunk, and tried to seduce several people. Kett blacked out in a pile of holiday decorations. Ghiagaxx was a buzzkill and left early.

The next day, almost the entire Guild was blacked out and the Guild hall was trashed. Ghiagaxx cleaned off and found Jeph (in an ugly holiday sweater) shaking an unconscious William awake. As William came to with a massive hangover, Jeph and Ghiagaxx recovered Kett and Guild Quartermaster Luther (who was removed from and put back into a trash can). As Jeph was also sober the previous night, she was the first to find out that the Guild had been robbed overnight.

The Gold Ocean ratman gang raided the basement storage area and stole a gem that would have powered Luther's holiday present from the staff: a paperwork filing machine. They also vandalized a wall and knocked over a bunch of shelves. Jeph tasks the group with heading into the sewers to finally take care of them filthy rodents. She also provided Kett with a sending stone to call for help if things went south.

The party ventured into the sewers and found a rowboat that would take them deeper in. There, they were attacked by two crockigators, which were quickly dispatched and used as an anchor for the boat. Following a short rest, the group went into one of the nearby tunnels and found Gold Ocean's stronghold. Ghiagaxx mercilessly sniped three of the ratbois, killing them instantly as he would pop in and out of the sewage at random.

After the party dispatched two more ratmen and their robotic friends, Kett noticed a white surrender flag being raised from a nearby curtain. A young ratman named Craig dropped his weapons and called the party into the barracks. He and his friends realized how insane Gold Ocean's leader, the Giant Rat, had become, and regretted joining the group. They begged the group to kill him and promised to get help if the party spared them.

Kett comforted the bois during a short rest while Ghiagaxx prepared for the attack and William's sprite ate the ratmen's leftovers. After setting up a brief barricade, William sent his sprite to investigate a curtained-off area in the back of the compound. Sure enough, the Giant Rat was exactly what he sounded like (plus a tin foil hat). Ghiagaxx sniped the rat but failed to notice the massive nutcracker mech lumbering over him.

The mech (dubbed HANS by the Giant Rat) hit Ghiagaxx and Kett with massive lightning bolts while the Giant Rat emerged from his safe haven wearing armor made of smaller rats. Ghiagaxx dealt a series of massive blows to HANS, which caused three ratmen to eject from its limbs. Before the bois could escape, the Giant Rat compelled them to serve as armor to replace the smaller rats Ghiagaxx and William had shot off. Through a combination of William's Maddening Hex, Kett's Spiritual Guardians, and Ghiagaxx's camping murder spree, the Giant Rat and HANS were defeated.

The rest of the ratmen surrendered despite some sass, and the party recovered the Crown of Ratkind. Craig and his friends returned with an older ratwoman, the brood mother and true leader of the clan. She expresses distaste for the idiots who decided to attack the Guild. Her son became the Giant Rat by stealing the Crown, which could only be used to unite the ratpeople during times of war. As the Guild was never truly at war with the ratpeople, the Crown drove him insane.

The party leads the brood mother and surviving ratpeople up to the Guild hall, which had almost been restored to its former festive glory. Master Luther, now recovered from his drunken escapades, realizes the rats would be a valuable addition to the HR staff rather than to the adventuring team. He leads the brood mother to his office to discuss terms, having now gained a veritable army.

Jeph rejoins the party and thanks them for their services with some Wintermas gifts taken early from the pile. Thus, the Guild found peace and was able to enjoy the holidays.

DM Notes

This whole campaign spawned from an obscure rat meme. I'm amazed people enjoyed it so much.
There was a lore route and a murder route. Guess which one they chose.
By "Ghiagaxx dealt a series of massive points to HANS," I mean 98 points in one round.
Everyone started this session with a hangover disadvantage. Except Ghiagaxx, who was a buzzkill.