2018-09-15- How Do You Feel About... Heists?
Fish, Grimm, Bird, Jwayne the Rock Donson, and Shump are bored and need money in the aftermath of the Purity Demon Attack. They head to the Humanoid Resources office and find it barred off with Fantasy Caution Tape. Grimm tries to enter and is tackled by a figure in a plague mask. After suplexing her, she reveals herself as Shelley Brandlee, titmouse kenku, thief, and HR grunt. She explains that half of HR got sick with Strap (between the flu and strep throat), including Quartermaster Luther. Good news: there is a cure available. Bad news: the only know suppliers in Sigil are the Gold Ocean Gang (who have a grudge against Purity after a bad land deal). Shelley offers to increase the party's hazard pay if she can come with them to satisfy her kleptomaniacal urges. They oblige.
In the ensuing hour, the party plans their heist of a warehouse owned by the Gold Ocean Gang. They meet with Shelley in the middle of the city; she did some recon, and the warehouse in question has been rented out for a theives' expo. She's also brought some help to get the party in: a penguin kenku thief named Brine. Shump and Brine have a tense stare down as the party sneaks through the back. Grimm bribes some guards, and Bird heads up to the catwalk to do some recon. There, he encounters a weird rat, which he shoots and half-eats.
The party is nearly caught by guards, but manage to scrape by under the guise of inspectors. On the trade floor, Grimm meets a tabaxi chemist named Hal who can make medicine for the guild if they rescue his daughter Meryl. Bird sells the other half of his rat to a sketchy-looking yuan-ti, who cooks it and sells it for double the money to Shump. The party locates an entrance into the warehouse basement, but it's blocked by another food stand run by the same yuan-ti man from before wearing a fake moustache. Grimm distracts him by telling him the tale of Sweeney Tod and buys the party time to sneak in.
In the basement, the party breaks stealth and kills three guards quite violently. They find a door blocked off by a puzzle lock. Behind it, they find a lot of rat decorations, a bathroom, and a lab that's been torn up in a struggle. There, Bird finds a very shaken Munchkin tabaxi who identifies herself as Meryl. The party arms her and decides to find the medicine before rescuing her and Hal. For good measure, Bird sets up a trap by the door and Meryl gets tiny weapons.
At the other end of the basement, the party finds a torture chamber infested with psychic rats. They manage to trap the rats in the room and attempt to find a way out. Bird takes a dead rat with him for further examination. Frog and Shump head to the bathroom to examine the dead bodies and find another puzzle. Shump, however, is having none of it and bashes the false wall in so well he breaks another wall completely outside of the room.
The party finds a small staircase leading to another sub basement full of stolen goods and medicine. They rendez-vous with Shelley and Brine and clarify the plan to get Hal and Meryl out. During the investigation and theft, Shump accidentally whacks Brine into a wall while trying to open a crate. Angered, Brine runs out of the room and starts honking like an idiot, giving away the party's location. Shelley runs off to take care of the penguin and rescue Meryl. The party steals enough medicine for HR and encounters a group of four gang members who are… rats? Men? Ratmen.
After a long fight full of claw marks, well-used healing, and flamboyant wrestling moves, the ratmen are killed, with Jwayne taking one of the gang badges as evidence. With Shelley, Meryl, and a tied-up Brine in tow, the party gets out of the basement. Grimm yet again distracts the yuan-ti food vendor with a story so good the snake boi has an aneurysm. Of course, this performance distracts the rest of the expo from the rest of the party's escape and abduction of Hal. In a Benny Hill-esque montage, they run from a single determined guard across the city and make it back to the Guild just in time. Grimm takes a nice walk back.
Medicine is distributed amongst the sick HR staffers. Shelley bumps up everyone's pay (including her own). Meryl and Hal join Purity's depleted squad of clerics and healers. Jwayne takes the badge he took to one of the HR secretaries, who takes it as evidence in the ongoing investigation of the Gold Ocean Gang.